Vampires and Love. What could go wrong?

How can something beautiful and life changing just stop or be erased? Yes something supernatural happened and compulsion occurred by a original, hot, (former) vampire hunter that can erase even the loving yet blood thirsty vampire protagonist.

Ok vampires, supernatural, hunters that use stakes and vervain. What is Jess getting at? Has she been watching too much Supernatural/ Vampire Diaries? Well yes and yes BUT what I do not understand is one thing.

How can a love that consumes one person enough to utterly be in complete and total pain if the other love dies, a love that even though all the bad stuff has happened; joy and purity is shown more brightly, a love that was destined for death, a love found in another’s brother… HOW CAN A LOVE THAT SPECIAL JUST BE ERASED?

Well yes I get it’s supernatural and it’s a TV show and not real. However, it still doesn’t make sense.

When I watched the Damon/Elena reunion in S6 ep 6 ( I think its the right one). My heart starts to beat. LOOK AT HER FACE. LOOK AT HIS BLUE EYES. THEY ARE TO DIE FOR, ELENA. HOW CAN YOU NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH THOSE EYES, HIS HAIR, HIS SMILE, THE BODY. ELENA WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?????????????

Note: I love Damon (Ian Somerhalder- Lost, CSI, Smallville. The guy married to Nikki Reed who is ironically a vampire in Twilight. He’s also an animal activist and against all cruelty. He is kinda great).

Anyway. They look at each other. He gets awkward. She feels guilty cause she can’t remember anything. Thanks Ric for wiping her memories. She shuts the door.

Later in the episode or two they talk again and blah blah blah. Nothing happens, until she nearly dies by going past the border for Mystic Falls and starts to recall memories as she is chocking on water. She wants to keep trying. He lets her go.

WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST KISS HER, DAMON?

It works in Once upon a Time, all those Disney movies. Why not now? She still loves him but it’s kinda hid by a mask. So wouldn’t that break the spell?

I do not get it. Even if it doesn’t work, at least they kissed (Isn’t that right all you Elena/Damon lovers?) Damon’s been locked in Kai’s prison for like 6 months now or something right? He just needs a little loving and Elena did say he had pretty eyes.

Over six seasons, this happens. My heart can’t take it. I hope my emotions survive, I have already cried once today. Over Damon. A fiction but bloody good looking and fantastically developed character.

 

Education is a powerful tool. So keep finding ways to improve.

I always say that I don’t like change but change happens when you least expect it. Big things have happened which don’t need to be shared but there is something that I want to try.
Most of you know that I am a teacher. I love teaching. I love my kids. But I want something to add to my teaching. I don’t really want to go back to University or TAFE but I would love to do something online to add to my degree.
I have searched for ages on what I would like to follow. My friend suggested ‘Educational Officer’. It hit me. I love animals. I hate animal cruelty. I love teaching children about important things; fair trade, slave labour, gender generalisation, families caught up in war, history etc. I would love to be an education officer that specialises in teaching our kids about conservation.
I actually was going to stop my degree at the end of 2013 and do some vet nurse courses up in Sydney. I decided to change my early childhood degree to just primary cause I wanted to do something I loved.

But now I need to do something different. I am searching education officers everywhere. Taronga Zoo. Reptile Park (I don’t like snakes and reptiles though). I will continue searching for the rest of the year but my new year resolution will be to find somewhere or a course to study.

What will my new year resolutions be while I am pondering on the new year?

1. Be happy.

Whether this is by working my two amazing jobs. (I love, love, love my weekend job and the awesome chickadees who are a part of it and I love teaching). Or I love myself more and more  (Eating healthily, exercising, loving who I am).  Being single and meeting new people, or old ones.

2. Social Media is not important

Go out and explore! Find hobbies off Facebook. There is a better life out there. Researching, experimenting, meeting new people, dancing, letting loose, asking questions about the world, going on adventures.

3. Family and Friends

Developing my relationships with family and friends. I lost touch alot when I stopped going to a church and I renounced my faith. I hope to reconnect with some of my old friends or make new ones.
Being there and loving my family. They keep growing in numbers but I love them! Finding new ways to develop those relationships.

I guess it’s 2016 soon and change has happened. I’m keen. What are you keen for?

Clarity is Key

I’m not the type of person to change all my life on a ‘feeling’.  When I hear people say that they just picked up the necessities and left. I struggle to comprehend what makes that a good decision. You have a feeling that you will get a full time job or that you will find the man you love. You have a feeling that there is something better out there but leave your friends and family. You have a feeling that everything will be great.

The reality is that it will be bloody hard. Personally I have been too scared to justify my decisions on a ‘feeling’. I need to have assurance that my life is not on a thread but wrapped about it a very tight knot.

I’ve had friends leave because of politics, laws, rules, decisions based on their work and relationships, job offers, religious ventures, backpacking and travelling, exploring gender/sex and even the I hate Australia. But I don’t get how people can leave for a ‘whim or a feeling’. How can one justify it?

What happens if you lose your way? Who can help you? What if the next door neighbour isn’t who they say they are? What happens if your job is terrible and everyone resents you?

How can you risk losing the relationships you built up, to disappear.

I had a friend who left on a ‘whim’ that she belonged anywhere but Oz. I haven’t heard from her for at least 10 years. All I know is that she is somewhere in Europe, living it up, slugging it up. I don’t know. But we have no relationship and it sucks.

I need certainty. Maybe that’s not what we should expect from life and the reality is that not everything is certain and we need to take risks. But seriously, I am not justifying a whim.

I love my two jobs, I love my family, I love my parents, my relationship, my friends, my cats, my individuality in my own decisions.

I’m not sure I would ever go for a feeling. I like the idea of finding my own path and that’s certain. But I need it to be pretty clear to take the leap.

Where art thou Christmas?

When people say they do not like Christmas, I just do not understand. Christmas is that time when everything comes to an end. If you have had a terrible year or you just found that 2015 didn’t make the cut, you can conclude it with 25th of December. It’s the time of year where you see the reality of human kindness. You can open your heart to the joys of love, family and giving. My Christmas is always like that in the songs. Not literally as in “chestnuts roasting on an open fire’ cause imagine that in Aussie Land- the fire engine would be all over you= fine!

I’d also like to think that Christmas involves “my singlet, shorts and thongs’, ‘dodging kangaroos’ or even ‘kelpie by my side’. I like to think I’m a true blue, born, Australian girl but no way am I dressed like that, see a Kangaroo in my Ute (which is actually a Toyota Yaris) and my cats Chloe and Angel which could pass as a dog. In fact, I like to dress up for Christmas. Santa hat, Christmas earrings and a nice dress to wear especially.

I like to imagine Christmas in old black and white photograph. Candles, stockings, egg nog. Imagine a white Christmas in America. Oh the Joys and it’s my dream. Where we can have chestnuts roasting on an open fire and not be fined hundreds of dollars. Where we can snuggle up under the fire and share Christmas stories and sing carols.

 

 

 

 

 

But I also enjoy the Christmas my family have. We all bring a main, a vegetable and a dessert. We eat together and share how our lives are panning out. We talk about relationships and struggles and we load on each other. It’s one of the most beautiful conversations to happen.

We share our Secret Santa’s which we got for the kids and we sing carols. The children laughing and screaming at their toys and there is so much excitement. Hugs and Kisses are exchanged.

Before we know it, Christmas is over but it’s showed our true colours. We open our hearts and share in the goodness and love from those around us. We await what will happen in 2016 and we take a new and shaky breath.

It’s terrifying but Christmas gives us the courage to put our best foot forward and begin again.

 

Humans… 

Every single time I walk into a shop and buy different items  like 5 packers of paddlepop sticks, 5 rolls of  masking tape and 3 metres of string. I get asked, are you either a teacher or some sort of serial killer? 

First, how did you get both of those? How is it evident that I am a teacher buying lose items? I wouldn’t stereotype teachers to buy paddlepop sticks, tape and string. I feel like that is one of the  most weirdest things for a teacher to buy. Yes I am a teacher and yes I bought the paddlepop and the tape for a maths lesson but seriously? And number 2. Really? What is the world coming too? Why would you even ask that question dude? 

Humans are strange. Really strange. I don’t understand the concept behind people’s thoughs and actions sometimes. Like humans are really, really stupid and they don’t even realise it. I witnessed someone back into another persons car today and I told the man what he had done. His response that 1. He wasn’t driving 2. There is no other car and 3. I am blind. 

Like stupid. Man you are so stupid.

Trying to weasel out of a situation that isn’t even that complicated. People keep making mistakes or being stupid without owning up to their stupid ways. 

That’s what makes me feel angry at  humans in this world at the moment.  Own up and be s bigger man. 

I love it. Simple as that.

It’s weird. Some days you can be ecstatic about and loving your placement on this earth. Then another day, you can feel absolutely treacherous and feel like someone is out to tell you every little thing that is about you wrong.

When those days pop up, I eat chocolate and watch Skins. It’s one of those things that calms and relaxes me.

I’m not saying I had a bad day today, I actually really enjoyed it. I love teaching. I am so grateful and glad I got my school. My kids are like a family and even though they are annoying at times, I love each and every one. My teacher is fantastic, beautiful and so talented with her teaching. I feel like our friendship is going to go far and I have loved having her mentor me in the class.

Everyone at my school is a family, a team, a community. I love them. I have never been to a school where I strongly have felt ‘this is home’. I even want to move up that way. It will be bloody brilliant. I have even made beautiful friends who make me laugh everyday. God, teachers are hilarious!

In 2 weeks, I can finish off everything I need to get done, prep for my interview and hopefully get steady, casual work. I am soooo excited. Everything is kicking off and its made me so excited for the future.

I wake up everyday positive with a story to tell.

Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow.

How does one choose to change so suddenly? For all the wrong reasons? Warning: I swear

Sometimes I just want people to understand what I am meant to be communicating. What I want them to understand. Its not always about you. You are not the centre of the universe. Yeah you are important. But not the god of all creation. Who knows who that is?

Sometimes I get so agitated with people who think life is all about them. It’s not. Everyone has hardships, everyone is going through crap that you don’t know about. People are struggling. So really, its not about you.

Dont let that bring you down.

Stay positive. Thats what I think.

In Chris Miles (Skins) quote that he relied everything on in his lifetime. I conclude with his statement:

“Just fuck it”.

Note:

(Yeah sorry for all those religious people who don’t like me swearing, you gotta deal with it cause life goes on).