Clarity is Key

I’m not the type of person to change all my life on a ‘feeling’.  When I hear people say that they just picked up the necessities and left. I struggle to comprehend what makes that a good decision. You have a feeling that you will get a full time job or that you will find the man you love. You have a feeling that there is something better out there but leave your friends and family. You have a feeling that everything will be great.

The reality is that it will be bloody hard. Personally I have been too scared to justify my decisions on a ‘feeling’. I need to have assurance that my life is not on a thread but wrapped about it a very tight knot.

I’ve had friends leave because of politics, laws, rules, decisions based on their work and relationships, job offers, religious ventures, backpacking and travelling, exploring gender/sex and even the I hate Australia. But I don’t get how people can leave for a ‘whim or a feeling’. How can one justify it?

What happens if you lose your way? Who can help you? What if the next door neighbour isn’t who they say they are? What happens if your job is terrible and everyone resents you?

How can you risk losing the relationships you built up, to disappear.

I had a friend who left on a ‘whim’ that she belonged anywhere but Oz. I haven’t heard from her for at least 10 years. All I know is that she is somewhere in Europe, living it up, slugging it up. I don’t know. But we have no relationship and it sucks.

I need certainty. Maybe that’s not what we should expect from life and the reality is that not everything is certain and we need to take risks. But seriously, I am not justifying a whim.

I love my two jobs, I love my family, I love my parents, my relationship, my friends, my cats, my individuality in my own decisions.

I’m not sure I would ever go for a feeling. I like the idea of finding my own path and that’s certain. But I need it to be pretty clear to take the leap.


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